Fake it until you make it.....
As most of you know (who follow me) I take Karate, and
something that is heard around the dojo is fake it till you make it.
What this means is keep trying until you actually accomplish
something. For me, it means something else. Faking being happy. Multiple Sclerosis and
depression often run hand in hand. There is some debate of the
causality of the depression, is it situational, chemical, or does it
have to do with the location of the lesions in the brain. No one can
give a definite answer on how or why it happens, but the simple fact
is that it does.
I was a counsellor in my former life
(the life before I met the MonSter) and I was aware that MS and
depression ran concurrently. When I was diagnosed I never thought it
would happen to me, I was well trained, I knew the signs and the
symptoms and what to look for. Until I found myself unable to
accomplish a simple task like getting out of bed (and not due to lack
of leg functions.) Depression has an insidious way of sneaking up on
you. It is akin to waking up in the middle of a lake drowning, but
not knowing how you ended up in the middle or even when you started
to swim.
There is also a stigma attached to
mental health that isn't associated with MS. It is a double whammy
situation. The effects of depression, more often times that not, can
be more crippling than the physical symptoms of MS. The internal
mental battle that occurs from day to day just to exist can be almost
paramount. But there is help. There is no shame in admitting you
have a problem. I know I was more embarrassed to come out of the
closet as someone who suffers from depression than I was to come out
as a lesbian. There is less stigma attached.
You should know you are not alone.
Most people who are diagnosed with MS suffer from
depression. It doesn't matter what causes it, or how it got there,
just that it happens and you are not alone. You are not crazy, and
anyone who judges you for being depressed really isn't worth your
time anyway. Seriously. It's not something we can help so why
judge. What we can do is treat it. Talk to someone, get help before
it is too late, go on anti depressants, join a group, seek
counselling, talk about it. You don't want to end up in that middle
of the proverbial lake to find out it isn't so proverbial. And while faking it until you make it works well in
Karate, it doesn't work so well in real life situations. If find
yourself faking your way through life, you won't enjoy it and that is
what were are here on this earth to do. Enjoy life. So get out
there and enjoy it, or get help so you can. And stay strong
fellow MS Warriors. We have a MonSter to fight, let's stick this out
together.
