I am currently in a position of hurry up and wait. I have been here many times before. Our timing is not God's timing, and so I wait for God to direct my footsteps as I look down the path ahead of me. But I wish my brain would be still.
My old friend anxiety rears it's ugly head as soon as I feel I'm not in control. Of course I cognatively know I am in control of very little, but the feeling still persists. Nor do I want the control. Really. I'd much rather have God be in control of my life. But sometimes a time line would be helpful.
Moving 4 province's away was a gigantic leap of faith for me. If you told me 3 years ago that I would sell my house and move 4000 plus kilometers away I would have thought you slipped a cog.
We aren't homeless. We have friends who have graciously lent us their home to roost in. We are safe and healthy. But it isn't mine. My stuff is sitting in the same city in a storage container. Hurry up and wait.
My desire to paint is so overwhelming I find it hard to focus on much else. My last painting sun set on Rice Lake was completed back in Ontario. The scenery here just begs to be painted. I have been flooded with ideas. But have no place to paint. Hurry up and wait.
I know the Lord would not direct me out here and just leave me. So, right now I am thankful for the guidance and love that he has provided. I turn my fear into Joy and proclaim I will wait in solid understanding that the Lord knows my path and where my footsteps shall be placed. The Lord will not allow my foot to slip, that I am watched over and no harm shall come to my family.
In your service Lord. I am here and I know you are too. Even when my flesh is weak.
