You're bigger than your Jeep.

You're never met us, and I'm assuming that you are a guest in our town.  Why do I assume that?  Well in a city of 30000 people you generally don't yell crap like that because someone will know you.  It's kinda a perk of a small city.

I can also ascertain that you are in educated.  Yelling you're bigger than your Jeep is a scientifically impossibility.  Unless we are driving the TARDIS which in that case we are going to rewind things and you are going to get a lecture.

You didn't know that my girlfriend has been taking care of me during immune therapy.  Or that she is under major stress at work and does it with a smile and cries at home.  You have no idea how much time money and effort she gives to various charities.  How much she loves her family and gives her all.

All you saw was a fat woman driving a jeep and you wanted to hurt her.  Well congratulations captain obvious she's fat.  So am I.  Do you think that we didn't own a mirror?  You are obviously starved for attention.  

Do you think that you have a right to comment on her body?  That body that cooks my food, helps me shower, holds me steady? That body who I find attractive without a doubt.  

Who were you trying to impress Mr. 2020 vision.  Your friends?  That one comment said so much about you as you sped away in your vehicle.  Way more than it ever said about her.  

She looked at me and said yeah I've been getting that all my life.  But you know what it gave me a chance to tell her I love her a litt more than i usually do.  (Which is a lot because I really really love her).  So yeah keep on going buddy, yell things at fat ladies.  One of these days that kinda thing is gonna get you in trouble with someone with big muscles.

sleep cycle weirdness

I'm a few weeks out of round two and the bruises are finally gone from my wrist.  They still ache, but so does my body.  My gall bladder has calmed down and is no longer in immediate danger of exploding.  Just one more thing in.my monthly test to monitor.  At least a have a drs. Letter for surgery if it happens again.  

I walked the mall the other day.  I was so proud of myself.  The sweat streamed off of me and my legs were like Jello, but that's an improvement. 

My sleep schedule is completely boogers.  I like getting up early, but 2 am?  Also I feel eating breakfast shouldn't require a nap.  They call this targeted immune therapy, because chemo kills everything off.  Does it hurt more?  Less?  Same.  Really I hope I don't find out.

There is so much I want to do, bit even the little around the house I do exhausts me.  My family helps out and really I don't need to do anything but heal.  I want to show them how truly thankful I am in my time of need.  That's what family does is help each other.  

I have made some or scrub caps.  It's slow going, but I'm truly thankful for our local nurses and drs at the hospital who helped me out.  Next it will be scarves and hats. Because I believe we should all help out society.  So that is my birthday gift to me.

God I hope I can do it.

Lemtrada treatment round 2 and covid

So I've finished my second round.  There were a few changes vaclovir instead of acyclovir.  Half doses of steroids and projectile vomiting.   Yup first day I started puking.  I'm pretty sure it was because of the half dose of steriods.  Ondansetron was given and boy did that help.  I also slept a lot, so I'm not sure if I prefer it the first or second round.  I had no choice I had to have this round.  Even though these are "strange and unusual" times, I had to press on with the treatment.  I am pleased the school is accommodating me and allowing my daughter to do schooling at home until the third term or so.  I also Don't think that it is particularly safe for her to go.  I mean take me out of the picture,  I don't want her to get sick.  It is scary times.  I feel like he'll, but this too shall pass.

covid realizations

So we are all isolating here.  3 ppl in the house are essential service providers.  My immune system has grown back well enough. I could have them all off work, but they have to make a sacrifice and so do I.  We are currently making skull caps for nurses.  7 of the same so patients can recognize them.  It's kinda fun.

I'm also taking this time out to love myself.  I have a huge ovarian cyst and have had pcos for years.  Every day I shave self conciousness of the hair on my face.  So while we are keeping everyone at bay I'm learning to love myself.  I'm calling it my social distance beard,  but really it's a learning to love myself the way that god created me.  So screw it.  I'm done shaving for a while.  With the love and support of my family I'm going to get over myself.  Stay safe folx.