Change

 Change

This year has been a year of changes for me. The relationship with my long term girlfriend ended late January of this year. Since then I have had the opportunity to learn a lot about myself, make some changes in my life, and explore new avenues. I have learned that I an extremely strong person. I managed to navigate these troubled times (with the help of my family and friends). I have experienced things like dating which was a completely foreign concept to me. Having been married and directly into a long term relationship left a little thing like dating out. Internet dating is all the rage now, and although I have had some luck, I much prefer to go out and meet people face to face. This hasn't happened yet as my gaydar sucks and I really don't have any aspirations to be in a relationship at the moment.

I am rediscovering the things in life that I love, my guitar, Karate, writing and dancing. I may not be the best at any of them, but I do so enjoy them. These things that I had forgotten that made up a huge part of my life at one time, have now become a central part again, and my paradigm has shifted. I have also developed and nurtured close friendships this year which was impossible when I was married and with my long time girlfriend. My friends have encouraged me and supported me more than I ever thought possible. I had never been one to make a bunch of friends, but now I find myself surrounded by them.

I have had to navigate little life problems that I would never have thought about when i was part of a couple, for example finding a date for a wedding. Once again friends are great for that. Currently I am a little anxious for Christmas as it is my first Christmas single. Friends will fill the gap for that as well. New Years is also a little nerve racking, as I have no one to kiss this year. I think this may be the first year my lips will not be kissed at midnight, friends just can't fill that role.

Melissa Etheridge said it best when she said, “the only thing that stays the same is change”. I think change is hard, but then again nothing in my life has come easy and I am looking forward to the year ahead with hope and expectation. This year is going to be about me, striving to make a better person of myself, following the dreams that I can and if someone comes along to hold my hand great, but I am not going to go out looking. Sometimes the perfect things in life can be found with out hunting.