Gaydar

Gaydar

For those of you who have been following me, you probably have heard this before. You may stop reading now, or if you feel like a good laugh, continue on. For those of you who are new, and who haven't been following me, I will explain what Gaydar is. In the gay community, most people have a sixth sense on who is gay and who isn't. It's called.... get ready.... Gaydar. Like radar for gay people. I know we are a creative people aren't we. I have a problem, mine is broken. Now I am sure I am not the only lesbian out there who's gaydar is busted, but it is a serious problem especially because I am single. There are a lot of haters out there and quiet frequently some heterosexual women get their noses out of joint if a gay woman hits on them. Come on, take it as a compliment and have a little sympathy would you?

Today I went out grocery shopping with a male friend who is heterosexual. While paying for our groceries, I spy a cute girl behind the counter. Now the first thing you need to know about me and my cruising ability with women is I am ridiculously bad at it. My ex girlfriends have told me that I turn from being a creative well spoken out going individual into Elmer Fudd. “Shhhhh quiet, we're hunting lesbians.” Seriously I am that bad. So instead of my usual, “cute girl, don't look, avoid eye contact and for the love of all things holy don't speak and make an ass out of yourself.” I decided to speak. I was actually kind of proud of myself that I had made this gigantic step. Seriously, it's huge. At the end of the conversation we exited the store. (Like hell I was going to ask or give a phone number, I ain't that brave. Baby steps right)

My friend and I start discussing cute grocery store clerk. Then he drops the S bomb on me. “She's straight.” he says and I know he is serious because he knows that I am a complete tool. I went through my mental check list. Short hair (check), Tattoo's (check), piercings (check) sporty look (check) when you have no gaydar, stereotypes are all you can go by. Nope she's straight Pam.

Besides not really wanting to seek out a girlfriend right now, the odds I can find one is fairly slim to none.