Social-cultural gender-roles

Social-cultural gender-roles 

We have passed the age where women are expected to be silent in church, please their husbands in bed while taking no pleasure in it for themselves and remain uneducated and at the beacon call of their husbands. Or so we think. In the GLBT community there has almost always been gender role issues just as in the hetero community. Gay women who dress in stereotypical “man” clothing have often been attacked for perpetuating the myth that women who are gay want to be men. Femme women have been accused of complying with the gender role stereotype and been frowned on. There has always been some measuring stick that you have to compare yourself with. So where does this leave us now?

I have noticed an alarming trend in the last few years of women who are “stereotypically butch” who are objectifying women and treating them as conquests. This is supposed to be acceptable behaviour because they are both women. It's not. I've notice that even in my own life, because I'm “butch” I am expected to make the first move (that's not going to happen because I'm painfully shy) or approach the cute girl or while I'm around other “butch” lesbians brag about my sexual prowess. Whom I have had any sort of intimate relationship is NONE of anyone's business but whom I have expressed myself physically with. I find it very distasteful to speak about such things with anyone else. It's not that I am a prude, but I would expect that anyone with whom I share a physical relationship no matter how great or small would be respectful as well. Intimacy is just that. We need to stop trying to meld ourselves into stereotypes and realize that regardless of gender or orientation that we have to be respectful. Not only do we have to stop objectifying women ourselves, we also have to stop shaming each other. Shaming women for enjoying sexual relationships is equally bad. Women have wants and desires and should not be made to feel foolish or slutty if they have a high sex drive. There is nothing wrong with that. As long as it's safe sane and consensual who cares? We all don't share the same shoe size why would we share the same sex drive? We can enjoy women with out being disrespectful, we can enjoy sex with out being labelled as “sluts” or “horn dogs” and the best way to show respect is to be respectful ourselves. You can't expect someone else to respect you if you are being disrespectful towards others.

Respectfully yours;

Pam