Lemtrada

Well I'm on the cusp of a new treatment.   I lost a dear friend to cancer yesterday and today is my daughter's 16th birthday.   16 years just flew by. 

This new treatment is going to destroy my T and B cells in Hope's of resetting my immune system.   So I'm going to be vulnerable and I'm feeling pretty vulnerable too.  I get to be locked into an infusion chair all day from 830 to 430.  They are giving me all the antihistamines gravel steroids  sleeping pills.  As my eloquent doctor put its gonna "f@#! You up really good"  I also appreciate my doctor swearing woth/at me.  Shows he is human.  No God complex there.

I'm hoping for hyper thyroidism because hey skinny again would be nice.  I could also get a myriad of scary things like losing my thyroid or my kidneys some weird bleeding disorder.  But I doubt I'm going to be that unlucky.


So I'm going to be stoned all week so my family and friends should expect so awesome texts.  I am disabling my credit card so I dont spend 200 dollars on candy crush again.  Yes it happened during medicated vertigo treatment .  Stoned Pam is not fiscally responsible. 

Also I'm really scared.  Its important to acknowledge.  I'm doing it anyway.  I've never been one to stop out of fear.  I experience it so much it's an old friend. 

So today is a mixed bag again.  I'm weepy because I miss my friend.  I'm weepy for his bride.  I'm weepy because my baby girl is growing up and I'm weepy for me.  So while my family cleans I'm resting.  Drinking lots of water to get rid of the uti that cropped up friday and hiding in s blanket fort.

Pray for me.