Your voice is louder than you think!

When it comes to ignorance the “man” I met on Monday takes the cake. I pulled into the Walmart parking lot in south Oshawa and was shocked to see a very large suburban parked in the disabled parking spot and the parent with small child spot. I waited around for him and after a brief conversation he basically told me where I could go. He had no understanding of why he was wrong and I felt powerless. I decided that I had to take some action and thought, why not use social media. Sounds good! So I shared the picture on facebook. The link is here :https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10154195789645444&l=d271bc9d89

If you are so inclined, please share! There has been 414 shares of this picture so far. I'm including it in my blog in case you don't have facebook and want to share my blog!

Social media is a great tool!

Sometimes you need to choose from the lesser of two evils

I must apologize, I haven't updated my blog in some time. In karate I had tried to do a forward roll and ended up straining my shoulder. When I went to the hospital, the doctor was actually dumbfounded that my collar bone was not broken and sent me on my way with some pain killers and some anti-inflammatories. I went to Karate in a sling and worked on my left hand which by birth is my weaker hand, and by MS my gimpy hand. Things were going well, BUT then I suffered a minor attack. I was exhausted and had to drag out my cane(s) and hobble around. I attempted class a few times, but then I became so exhausted with the mundane things in life that I could no longer practice. I was disheartened as I had a tournament coming up. As the week of the tournament drew closer my legs started to ease and I was able to attend the tournament with out my cane. I wanted to participate. It was the first time my dojo had gone to a tournament under the new name and I really wanted to do self defense and sparing. My dojo mates and my Sensei felt it would have been too much and in truth it would have been. Having MS means sometimes you have to choose the lesser of two evils. I could have competed but I would have been two exhausted to drive home safely. I chose to be a good Mom and be able to drive home safely. I did enjoy watch the children, and dojo mates compete and cheered them on, but I knew that health comes at a great cost. Regardless of my or others disappointments, we must all be cognizant of our health needs, sometimes this means missing out on the things that you don't want to. Sometimes it means that you have to listen to your loved ones even if it means disappointing some of them, because after all those who love you will eventually understand. The right thing to do is never the easy thing or at least in my life it isn't. I also realized that the odds of finding someone who is going to date me regardless of my illness is slim to none. I can't blame them. Things happen in life and we all after to decide if we are going to screw our courage to the sticking place or not, but starting out something new with a disability is probably very unlikely. MS is a thief each year that passes it steals something from me and I have to recalibrate who I am. I guess in this latest attack I realized that the ability to find a partner in life has been stolen as well or at least the odds of finding such a person becomes remote. Given that I only have 5% of the population to choose said mate from the odds become less and less as time progresses with my disease. But in replacing the loss for the ability to find someone to spoon with, I have gained so much more in finding out who my true family and friends are and what is important for me. My daughter has always been the most important thing in my life and I have sacrificed greatly for her, if I look at this loss as a sacrifice for her, then the loss becomes less painful and begrudging. Again it is one more change to my life that I will have to adapt to, and if there is anything that this disease has done for me it has given me the ability to adapt quickly.

International Day Against Homophobia

If you didn't catch the headline, today is international Day Against Homophobia. In an age where we have black history month, woman's history month and aboriginal history month we get a day where we disclaim homophobia. Oh sure we have Pride week. If you didn't already know, the Pride Parade(no it doesn't stand for people reducing impaired driving ever where) was started on June 28, 1970 in response to the Stonewall Inn riots that occurred a year earlier. You can Wikipedia the riots here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stonewall_riots If you are too lazy to research, basically the story goes the police raided a bar called the Stonewall Inn. It was the only “gay bar” that allowed dancing. It was run by the mafia as being gay was very illegal. The bar got raided and men and women were taken into a back room and checked for the correct parts. Women who were not wearing at least 3 pieces of typical feminine clothing were arrested and men in drag were also arrested. While searching the female customers the police were inappropriate touching the women causing tension to an already tense situation. While escorting a “Typical New York Butch” and “a dyke–stone butch” she had resisted arrest and when complaining the cuffs were too tight was struck on the head with a police baton. She instigated a riot when she shouted to the bystanders who were singing “we shall over come” to do something. Do something they did. They set fire to garbage cans, broke windows in the bars and toppled over Police paddywagons. The police then became trapped in the bar. It was the first time that the gay community struck back. Violence is a terrible thing, but what is worse than violence is the NEED for violence. When an oppressed community has no other option but to fight back with equal violence it is a tragedy.

So today on this international day against homophobia I remember those men and women who's lives have been taken under the guise of homophobia, a word that I really hate. Homophobia according to the Merriam - Webster dictionary is “an irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals. Except that it's a load of malarkey. I have arachnophobia, I run screaming in fear from spiders, I don't tie them to a fence and beat them and leave them to die bleed out from their injuries. Lawyers use the defence of “gay panic” to defend those cowards who seek out weaker people and abuse them. On this day, remember that words hurt, that your actions influence children, and to look with in yourself and question why you are so set against homosexuals? Is it because the bible says so? Consider this, the bible has over 100 passages that deal with slavery and only 5 to 8 (depending on which version you own) that speaks anything remotely about homosexuality or sexual immorality which is often confused with homosexuality. Let he is with out sin....

Ah spring

Temperature change is so wonderful. One week it's snowing and the next week it's mild. Unless you live in Canada where we get all 4 season in one day. The problem gearing up for spring is that I can feel the temperature change, and I can feel an attack brewing. Day to day stress isn't helping either. It kinda feels like I'm walking in sand or in a fog just trying to make my way through. The exhaustion is more mental than physical at this point and my ambition level sinks pretty low. Okay it was Mother's day week end and sometimes I just decide that I don't want to do much. Just because I feel an attack coming on doesn't mean I'm going to get one, nor does it tell me if I am how bad it will be. I compensate by making sure my path is clear and a light is on. Tripping over something that you forgot to put away in the middle of the night is never a good thing. I worry more that I'm single because my daughter sleeps really heavily and I could call her for hours with out her waking up. My phone is always with me just in case I get stuck some where and most of the people I associate with know that Hey if I'm over and I feel exhausted I will crash on your couch. They don't even have to be quiet. I could sleep through the apocalypse. An ounce of precaution is worth a pound of cure.

Family: who's do we focus on?

For many years growing up in a Christian family I've heard the quotes from James Dobson and focus on the family. Traditional family values and morals were encouraged, gender roles were clearly laid out and anyone who did not fit into that box was quickly demonized. In an effort to encourage the value of family he has done more to damage it than any other person. With his black and white thinking of what a family should look like he instantly negated the many different forms that it exists in. Every one should strive to have the traditional 2.5 children with Heterosexual parents and woe be to anyone who doesn't fit this mold. Except families have existed in different forms since the beginning of time. Having 2.5 children was not feasible in the farming era where infant death rate was common. That is just one example.

The term “Homosexual Agenda” was coined by the Family Research Council who's founder was none other than James Dobson creator of the Focus on the Family. This man has been a guiding leader to the Christian community for decades except he is a liar. For years he has cited research that claims children do better in homes with a Father and Mother. Except that the research he is quoting is grossly misinterpreted and twisted to fit his designs. Judith Stacey (whose research he has twisted) states, "Whenever you hear Focus on the Family, legislators or lawyers say, 'Studies prove that children do better in families with a mother and a father,' they are referring to studies which compare two-parent heterosexual households to single-parent households. The studies they are talking about do not cite research on families headed by gay and lesbian couples." Wait there is more! James Dobson cited the research of Kyle Pruett and Carol Gilligan in a Time Magazine guest article to “prove” two women could not raise a child. Gilligan penned a letter to Dobson demanding an apology and to cease and desist from citing her research. She said that she was, "mortified to learn that you had distorted my work...Not only did you take my research out of context, you did so without my knowledge to support discriminatory goals that I do not agree with...there is nothing in my research that would lead you to draw the stated conclusions you did in the Time article." Pruett also wrote a letter stating that Focus on the family, "cherry-picked a phrase to shore up highly (in my view) discriminatory purposes. This practice is condemned in real science, common though it may be in pseudo-science circles. There is nothing in my longitudinal research or any of my writings to support such conclusions.” There is more folks: Elizabeth Saewyc wrote a paper regarding Teen suicide and states, "the research has been hijacked for somebody's political purposes or ideological purposes and that's worrisome", and that research in fact linked the suicide rate among LGBT teens to harassment, discrimination, and closeting. Here are some other researchers who have condemned Focus on the family for misrepresenting their work: Other scientists who have criticized Focus on the Family for misrepresenting their findings include Robert Spitzer, Gary Remafedi and Angela Phillips. So all in all James Dobson has falsified findings to support his personal beliefs which led to another groups he helped created such as Exodus International, NARTH (National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality), PFOX (Parents and friends of Ex gays), American College of Pediatricians, and Focus on the Family which used this research to try and convert Homosexuals to Heterosexuals. Many of the leaders of this conversion therapy have come forward to apologize for their harmful behaviour and gone back to embracing their Homosexuality. The vast majority of the people whom these organizations have “converted” aren't really converted. They are just leading celibate lives and admit that they orientation is not heterosexual but they abstain from homosexual behaviours.

Because of this man with his archaic views on family and falsified information the rate of suicides among GLBT youth have skyrocketed. For a man so very set on sustaining family values he has very little. As for the Homosexual agenda? This homosexual strives to protect the future children from abuse that organizations like this inflict. One has to ponder though, If you are falsifying records to serve your personal belief and feelings who really has the agenda?

Your point is invalid

There are a lot of assumptions that people make when you have an invisible or even a visible disease. Some people think they have the magic answer to cure you of your ails, with little to no research or statistic material evidence. One of the first things my Neurologist said to me was, Unfortunately you will come across those who believe they have the cure for MS. Don't believe them. There are snake oil salesmen all over the world who will take advantage of your diagnosis. Also don't take echinacea, that stuff actually works to boost immune systems and you don't want that as you have an immune system disorder.

I'm accustom to misinformed people saying things like, you shouldn't eat meat or wheat, or you should try this diet or supplement. I've heard it all from bee sting therapy to water cures MS because it's an electrolyte problem. Recently my child comes home from school and tells me that her Science teacher/Librarian told her that the gene for MS resides on the same gene as Coeliac disease. My child was asked, “knowing that they reside on the same gene and that eating wheat is bad for people with coeliac disease, how is this going to affect your wheat consumption going forward?” My brilliant child says, “It's not!” Her teacher retorts, “that is a good way to end up with MS”. Okay did you just tell my child that eating wheat causes MS? I may have a slight problem with this. I stewed about this problem for about a week and decided enough was enough. I was going to phone the school. I couldn't get a hold of the vice principal, so I thought I'd try the teacher that was teaching my child this charlatan science. As luck would have it she was in. She knew exactly who I was Ironically enough, and she was fully informed that I had a diagnosis of MS because my daughter had informed her that was what she wanted to do her project on. She had never heard of the human genome project. (I started to twitch when she said that she was unfamiliar with this term and could I please explain) and explained to me that she was well aware of MS and Coeliac disease because she has sister-in-laws that have each disease. WAIT you are teaching my child science and are well versed in them because you have a sister-law that has it? That's like saying I'm a fire fighter because my cousins house burnt down. She then informed me that her sister-in-law who has Coeliac disease informed her of this amazing break through in genetic discovery. I had to take a moment to digest this. You are teaching my child pseudo-science not from any research other than the gospel word of your family? I offered to speak to her class which she took up immediately. She also informed me that the school was completely wheelchair accessible and could accommodate any of my needs. I thanked her. She ended the conversation with I will tell my sister-in-law that she is mistaken.

Perhaps I should bring in an ionic foot bath to soak in. I'm sure she'd love to explain how the toxins are being extracted out of my feet instead of the process of electrolysis (separating H2O into h2 and O and how it impacts metal in the form of rust.) I think I lost a few braincells this morning speaking with this woman. The really irritating part for me was NOT how misinformed this woman was or how her utter lack of research and education was impacting the education of my child. What really burned me was that if I hadn't have educated my daughter about MS she could be traumatized by eating bread. That she might have started to believe that if I simply had avoided this food that I would have been able to avoid getting Multiple Sclerosis. That because she was taught that there is a genetic link that she should avoid consuming wheat and what kind of a terrible Mother with MS am I that I didn't know this? I could have caused the downfall of her health. I'm going to stop writing this now. I feel the need to blog this in a more appropriate area.

3000 + Page views!

3000!!!!!!!!

 

Wow when I started this blog a few years ago, I never dreamed that I would so many views. It's a pretty big accomplishment! The struggle has been well worth it. If just one person can feel like they are not alone in this big old world, by sharing a common struggle, it's worth it to me. You can take the girl out of the counselling field, but not the counsellor out of the girl! Although I would never self disclose on the front line, here in the back drop of society it is a different matter. I don't know who benefits more from this blog, you or I?

Okay on to other things. It's spring. Cat's are going into heat. For the love of Pete please keep your cat's indoors and be extra careful when you go out, so that they don't follow you. Why am I saying this? Because 2 days ago I hit a cat (it could have been a raccoon in all fairness). I mean I didn't just hit it, I ran it over with first the left and then the right tire. I didn't have a chance to stop or swerve or do anything but think I'm going to hit it. After I stopped I couldn't find it. Please if you value your animals keep them inside! That is not an experience I want to repeat!