Wrongs

When you wrong someone, you must apologize. Unless you don't feel badly that is. Apologizing when you don't feel badly is counter productive. It is lip service and on top of things, it is insulting and demeaning to the other party. When you wrong someone, the apology must be meaningful. It must firstly acknowledge why you are apologizing. If you just say “sorry” could mean anything, sorry you are a bone head, sorry you have a face like that, or sorry I hurt you. Example, I am sorry that you felt betrayed and neglected. You need to validate the other persons feelings, it is about them. The second step is to admit what you did wrong. I take responsibility for double booking my day and choosing to go to the movies instead of spending time with you like I promised. The last step is to figure out what to do differently, make changes in your behaviour so that you don't hurt them again. Example: In the future I will do my best to keep my promises and tell you if there are any other plans in the work. You can even go as far as to ask them, What would you like to see happen in the future so I do not make this mistake again.

If you are wronged, try to listen with open open ear. How ever that being said, you are under no obligation to accept an apology no matter how sincere, nor are you under any obligation to allow yourself to be put in a position where you are repeatedly hurt. If people hurt you constantly, forgive them and move on. If they truly care about you, they will change their behaviour. Also realize that it is their issue and not your own to deal with. Sometimes you just have to say enough is enough for your own mental health.