Cognitively speaking

Cognitively speaking

One of the hardest things to cope with besides the fatigue and depression is the lack of short term memory that I suffer from with MS. This symptom is exasperated by lack of sleep and stress and is often quite embarrassing. I started noticing things long before I got diagnosed. A particularly problematic complication is my failure to remember names. It's not that I don't find you interesting; In fact I could probably quote you the whole story of your life if you told me, but remember your name. Nah. It is a simple thing, but people get fairly offended when i don't recall what to call them. They even take it personally as if I couldn't be bothered to remember when the simple fact is I just can't recall.

Getting older means not remembering things as quickly as I once did, at least that is what people tell me. I highly doubt at the ripe old age of 35 I should be experiencing the aphasia that I do. Come on, how many people forget the name of the freezer and have to tell someone to go downstairs and put the meat in the square thing that makes cold? Sure it sounds funny, but who forgets what a freezer is called. I've learned to “think around” things and describe them or alter what I am speaking about, and for the most part I don't get caught as often as it happens. I use visual cues to remember things of importance and I would be lost with out my phone, computer and calendar. It is not simply just objects that I loose the names of, but words and meanings as well. I often worry that I come across as uneducated, or simple when the fact is I just can process the information like I once could. I once commented that a fox that ran by looked emasculated when I meant emaciated. A good chuckle was had by all. Except me. I laughed on the outside, but inwardly I was humiliated.

So of all the things I miss the most I miss my mind the most.