Smoking
I started smoking again. Okay I'm an
idiot. There I said it. If it makes you feel better you can call me
an idiot too. It was a stupid thing to do and every time I start up
again I think, “wow it happened just like before!” I know the
risks, I know the financial and physical price. To be quiet honest
with you I'm humiliated. I just recently phoned my Mom and told her,
not being able to do it face to face because I'm so ashamed. I've
been avoiding them like the plague so I don't have to hear the
lecture (which I'm doing already in my head). There is nothing you
can say or do that will make me feel worse about this than I already
do. BUT I have a plan and telling my parents was the first step in
dealing with it. You can't deal with a problem if you hide it. It
just grows and grows. I will quit again, and soon, but in the spirit
of National Coming Out Day, I came out. I a smoker and even when I
quit again, I know I will always have that mentality and to avoid
tobacco like the plague.
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