Lesbian Problems 3
Questions
I spent several years in college
learning my trade, and several years in the field practising it.
Perhaps this has lead to people feeling I am approachable. Maybe
it's my face. One of my friends described my face as “gay face”.
I'm not sure what that is, but we'll go with that? I don't mind
answering questions depending on the time and place. I understand
that people have a pressing need to know and if I'm approachable,
then this is my lot in life. But I have to question the sanity of
people in the places that they choose to ask me questions in or whom
I am with. Here is clue one, if I'm with my kid it's not acceptable
to ask me personal intimate details on my sex life EVER. I mean
really, do YOU want to know ANYTHING about your parents sex life?
Not to mention discussing sex in front of children is always a no no.
In fact, don't even talk to me about anything remotely sexual in
front of my child. Unless I'm giving her the birds and the bee's
talk, this is not a conversation that comes up on a regular basis.
I'm no prude, but lets be appropriate around small children shall we?
I understand that being a lesbian
is different than the standard “norm” (It's normal for me) and
you might have questions. I accept that I am going to have to answer
silly questions all my life and deal with stupid assumptions. I
understand I look stereotypically butch. I don't wear frilly
clothing. It's not me. Yup I wear men's clothing but not so I can
look like a guy. It's so they fit. I have ridiculously broad
shoulders and am short and stocky, coupled with the fact that I have
extremely well endowed in the chest area. It's nice, but they get in
the way. The odds I can find a shirt in the womenfolk’s section
that doesn't look like a maternity shirt on me is slim to none. I
get that people assume because I'm a lesbian and that I'm butch that
I am the “man” in the relationship. Let me clear that up for
you. I am not a man, nor do I wish to be one (except when it snows
and I want to write my name on a snow bank). I'm a girl through and
through. I like being romanced. I like receiving flowers. I don't
want the stereotypical role of a man thank you. I like being a girl,
I just don't like being “girly”.
Obviously because I date women and
have intimate relationships with them (although not frequently enough
thanks) there may be questions. Why people are so interested in what
I DO in bed is a little puzzling. Mostly I sleep and I'm damn good
at it! I have been asked just about every question of a sexual
nature there is. I am not the lesbian spokesperson. In fact, what
each couple enjoys ranges in the heterosexual community too. Do you
want to want to be the spokesperson for your sexual orientation? Do
you have the same sex life as your neighbour? Would you assume that?
Would you care? Why do people want a running list of what's in MY
tickle trunk? Let's just say I've never had any complaints and
please don't ask me any more questions when I'm OUT IN PUBLIC! If
you have a question, pull me aside, offer to buy me a cup of coffee
and ask. I'm not going to laugh at you (I will do that later). I am
glad people ask questions of me and can answer some, but again keep
in mind I am not the lesbian spokesperson, experience may vary with
each individual. If you want to ask questions about ME, by all means
I can answer them. If you want to ask general questions sure thing.
If you want me to answer for EVERY gay person man or woman that
graces the face of the earth I will tell you to pull your head out of
your butt. I'm white, you don't ask me if all white people eat kraft
dinner and wear plaid skirts or eat wiener schnitzel do you? Each
individual experience will vary.
Speaking of individual experiences,
I don't want to be yours. People have questions and curiosities I
understand that. I'll answer questions I'll even take you to the
local gay hang outs, but I'm not interested in being your science
experiment. Unless I am in a committed relationship with someone,
I'm not the type of girl to just hop into bed with anyone. I have a
little more respect for myself than that. If that is what you are
interested in, there are plenty of people out there for you. I'm not
one of them!
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