Mastering the Mind with MS

Mastering the Mind with MS

One of the most difficult things to accept with the diagnosis of MS is the changes in your brain. In prior posts I've discussed coping with depression (which is definitely a huge change in a persons brain) and emotional incontinence. Some of the other mental changes can be loss of memory (ever walked into a room and can't remember why you are there? Try that 10 or 15 times a day or more ) Also, above and beyond cognitive changes, a persons mental image of themselves changes. It is different than Body dysmorphic disorder which an individual is focusing on a perceived physical flaw, but a hyper focusing on what is actually wrong with an individual. The person becomes the illness. Not only are people with MS susceptible to this line of thinking, but also their own mental self image changes.

Mental self image is how you perceive your own thought patterns. Do you think you are intelligent, or not, are or were you good at remembering names and fine details. Our mental self image changes as we age, but for people with MS, our mental self image changes on almost a daily basis. This can play havoc on our self esteem even if we value ourselves highly. Self Esteem is an emotional response and not an intellectual response. Over all general intelligence is not affected with MS. However someone with MS may feel less intelligent because they can't rely on the tools that they once used. Personally, I used to have a great memory (Much to the chagrin of my emotional counterparts), I was able to focus my attention and sit in my college classroom and pay attention and still had my marks in the mid to high 90's. When I started feeling the mental affects of MS my mental self image changed and rightly so, however it is important to remember to guard your self against “Mental Dismorphic Disorder” You don't want to perceive your intelligence as less than it is because it will impact your self esteem.

I started feeling emotionally less worthy because my my mental self image was skewed. My actual intelligence and my mental self image was in-congruent. My Karate instructor and close friend had noticed this and like a true Karate instructor gave me mental exercises yesterday to help. (He's actually pretty brilliant and doesn't read my blog so he won't get a swelled head and not that he would either.) So, I have a year long task. (I know right) Each day I have to write down a reason “why I am awesome”. Those are his words and not mine. “Pam, if you want to stop attracting people who aren't worthy of you or your time, you have to start realizing how awesome you are. You have to stop accepting the bottom of the barrel and go for people that deserve you.” He's right, and I'm not stupid enough to argue with my Karate instructor. So here is my first one, The reason I am awesome is I am an honest person. I value honesty above all and fine people who lie abhorrent and cowardly. I suppose the honest route is not for everyone, but those people who do make a it practice to be dishonest are not worth my time or thoughts. In an effort to bolster my esteem and do a little extra homework, I have decided to rid myself of those who dishonour themselves and me by being dishonest. Being honest takes courage and those who lack the courage to be honest have nothing. At the end of the day, take away a persons clothes, home, vehicle any worldly possessions and all they have is their word, if there word means nothing they have nothing and all the bonds and relationships they have with people are hollow and fictious because they are built upon the foundation of lies. The bible has this to say about liars:

 Proverbs 21:6

New King James Version (NKJV)

6 Getting treasures by a lying tongue
Is the fleeting fantasy of those who seek death

So I might have a little trouble coming up with "Why I am awesome" after all it is a year long quest.  Feel free to inbox me why you, loyal reader think I'm awesome.  (He never said I can't have help :D)