Tuesday, 8 April 2014

Expanding your limits

Expanding your limits



My family and I have decided to go camping. We have picked out sites and they went out and bought some new equipment. I'm fairly pumped except for one small, minute detail. I'm deathly afraid of bears. Yup. Spiders and Bears, except spiders can't eat you in one gulp. I'm short and overweight and I can't run. I'm bringing weapons. I don't subscribe to the don't bother them and they won't bother you theory. I'm more of a what can go wrong will go wrong. My dojo “wife” has suggested bear repellent. Admission time. I once accidentally pepper sprayed myself once. It wasn't pleasant. It was only dog repellent though. I can see the scenario. An angry bear charges me like crazy and I boldly thrust out my pepper spray accidentally aiming it towards my face. I pull the trigger and am blinded with pain and gasping for air. The bear pauses for a moment pandering why his prey has suddenly gone into convulsions and spiced herself. Bear gnaws happily on my arm grateful that I have just seasoned myself. I actually asked if I was bait. Hey I'd happily give my life for my family. I know I'm the slowest runner they will live. I'm just not truly convinced that this is a great idea. I know I'm supposed to be butch, but I have embraced my inner princess and have decided to be the butch princess. I'm good with that. Bears..... I'm going to expand my limit.

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