That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

That statement is not necessarily accurate. I mean illness does make the body physically weak, it does not give you strength. Even emotionally things which tear our soul and leaves us with emotional scars fails to make our minds stronger, it leads to mental health problems. But for writers like myself pain is fuel. I like to savour the pain, smell the bouquet, swish it around in my mouth per se. What scent is this now? This pain is a full bodied scent of tears peppered with a smattering of heartbreak that is deliciously complicated. Once uncorked and the palate is cleansed, this pain has a veritable plethora of emotions. In it you will find a silky mixture of grief, sorrow, regret, discouragement with the bold earthy kick of hope to finish it off. It's not just pain that spurs my soul but the pleasures in life as well, albeit they seem to be sparsely spread out, this makes them sweeter This is. life. It is a mixture of sorrow and grief, joys and love and sometimes they are all interchangeable.

Okay enough of the artistic crap. So much like Sisyphus rolling his rock shy of the precipice, I am bound to my computer. Forever creating and never finishing. Sometimes it does have it's benefits to be shackled relentlessly to my computer. As I have stated before I created another blog under a fictitious email and pseudonym, here under the cover of anonymity I can let out what I like to refer to as evil Pam. Here I can blow off steam rant and rave like a lunatic and use it as a tool like mental floss. I also have found the benefit of exploring and avenue of writing I am not accustom too. I can if I please use expletives as punctuation. I have found it a useful tool. Because I am here tied to my monstrosity of a computer held together with duct tape I might as well use it to the best of my ability.

Also I have been creeping the world of you tube. My wonderful friend has a vlog which I follow and I have been admiring her bravery. We are working on a project together. It should be entertaining to say the least as anyone who could eavesdrop on our conversation would probably admit. I am no Ellen, but when her and I speak on the phone, no matter how terrible the day is, no matter how bad it gets we just about die laughing. I also want to publicly announce how brave I believe she is for showing the world the struggles that people with mental illnesses have to endure. You can follow her at: https://www.youtube.com/user/suggarskullz It seems a terrible tragedy that we live in separate provinces. But my friend my heart is hugging yours and my love to you as always. Keep fighting.